I just went through my previous note and realized that no one has ever gone through it. I have to accept it because this is not a social media or a social network which we get informed all the shits of everybody. instead this is a quite place to hide in and to talk to yourself.
I remember the day I was sting next to my father, traveling to kegalla with our own red colored truck. It was extremely unconditioned and terrible sounded. We had our ordinary level class there, so my father used to give us a ride every Saturday and Sunday morning. if it is a rainy day, it was very hard to be inside without getting wet. Almost all the seals leak inside. vipers didn’t take the responsibility of a heavy rain. There was a risk of loosing the blades of the viper if it has been operated in such rain. Water splash over the mudguard and comes inside from the holes which can not be further repaired. My father spent countless hours in garages, tire centers and electrical workshops to repair that vehicle.
After a long decade he bought a van. It was a big achievement to move in to a new vehicle though it is a used one. We enjoyed driving it a lot because it had some features which we defined as luxury. But every one but us was not considered as good vehicle. We replaced its engine, gear box, clutch plates and break pads apparently almost all core components have been replaced by my father.
Last week after all these hardships, he has climbed his level top. he bought a brand new unregistered car which has manufactured in 2016. it has all the functions and very easy to drive. He should be quite happy because he might remember the old vehicle he had years back when he is driving this masterpiece.
To be frank, I’m neither a good writer nor a reader. If I write now, it will full of crap and no one would bother continue on reading on my blogs. But if someday I filled a piece of paper with some good writing, it will broaden up the visionary of anyone who reads it. You can squeeze out your thoughts, your ideas, the way you see things, articulate your imaginations and keep your head on to growing your self.At the same time, people who can write excellently are the ones who seem bit odd but actually they are far more advance.
In the contest my girl friend is a brilliant writer. I might not be good enough either to put a comment in on her talent but still representing the general public, her writing is extraordinary. She is the one who shows me that her appearance is not the only thing makes her sexy but her writing.
So I start here, I write and I appreciate anyone who would spare their time on reading this. And if anything needs to be corrected please comment bellow.
I will write until I reach to a level such that my each and every word speaks out loud.
He was in a middle of a baby clinic at a privet medical center near his town. He was not carrying a baby actually but he thought he could have a little cutie playing on his arm. Playful little babies were crying seeking their mom’s attention rather than his loving eyes. He saw a pretty lady who was probably in her mid 30s talking to her tendering husband nearby who seemed a little frustrated waiting for the doctor to come to the clinic. There were his eyes cherished because it was what he wanted always. To be a happy husband to a proud woman who could face any challenge at any moment to protect himself and their family. Suddenly her old memories flashed anew into his eyes. He remembered the conversations they had years ago which are now in the skies of his doomed city. He sighed to himself and looked around. There was no sign of love rather than the dark cold emptiness.
She made sure that he will not hear her voice anymore. She hid her sight from him. He was blocked from every media where he could watch her secretly. She made his promise to go stay away from her family. After all, She kept her feelings secretly inside herself to where he didn’t have access anymore. But once in a while, she appeared at the top of the mountain. He had to climb up the mountain, it was freezing, dangerous, and misty. He could have gotten lost and could have ended his life. But the only thing he knew is, that is the only way where there is hope. Otherwise, he will have to grow old and die having nothing, doing nothing.
She did all those things… Jz to keep him away from her life, She kept him away from her life, only god knows what runs in her mind, She stopped all the links to his life, to keep him away from her life, She made sure he couldn’t access to any of her accounts/ profiles… She didn’t know how much she meant to his life, She didn’t know he was an Anandian, she ddnt know he was an Engineer, She didn’t know all those things wud get mixed up with his love upon her, So she blocked him out of her life… @least she thought so…. She tried to stop him following her IRL and In Virtual world….she thought she made sure he won’t follow him anymore… Yet He sees her silhouette of by her windowstill… He sees her shadow once or twice in a fortnight, Whenver he gets a leasure time… He Runs thru that big tunnel and he climbs up that hill, jz to see her shadow along with the calm sounds of river banks… He climbs up there Whether he’s got his buddies with him or not… But still he likes to climb up there all alone… He walks miles, jz to see her shadow…. But It dsnt matter, even if he onlybsees the shadow, cuz he jz wants to know she’s there… He can imagine and picture her cute lil face on that shadow… Yet she keeps him away from her stucked up fucked up life….
Originally written on the 1st of January 2016 by Ishan Herath. ‘Him’ is me and ‘her’ is her. 🙂
These days I’m living with unease. I have a terrible feeling about my life and the years yet to come. I worry like a captain who is sailing in dark, looking at the sea not knowing what to expect. Like a kid lost in the woods. Who doesn’t know how to sleep at night. I have gotten this feeling since I graduated from university of Moratuwa after finishing my masters. Out of thirty in my graduate school, only two were able to complete master in two years. I did my research well -not as I expected it to be, Because I expected to publish few papers at least- but any thing completed in 2020 is known to be an achievement. I should be happy though. hmm.. But I’m not. So I decided to look through my feelings, in and out. I’m trying to finding why I feel that way.
I’m not a jobless. I have a good job at a well known company and It was something I dreamed for years. After I quit my previous job at Dialog, It was a great leap that I was able to join MAS. I’m doing a fantastic job there for three years. Everything was very smooth until I set a goal to go in to space. To space?. Really?. Not physically go in to space by being an astronaut, but I wanted to join with the engineering teams which help humanity to go beyond earth. The last couple of words have stoles from Elon Musk. I always push my hurdles up, so I took this seriously. I started my masters without a clear view of what I’m going to do in the future but I did it quick as much as I could, so that I don’t have to be lagged in the time lines when I finish thinking about it.
If I go back in time to see what made my life to take such a decision, I am ended up in the rooftop of my grand mamas hose. My uncle built his own house attached to grand mamas house and he stopped it as a one-story building leaving me a good space to sped my nights open to the sky. I have spent there lot of times in my childhood gazing in to the starts. Once I made a telescope out of disposed bulbs and tubes and watched amazing views of Moon. Once I had a big telescope from our school which was good enough to track the Galilean moons and record the movements.
Galilean Moos of Jupiter from a telescope
Even my parents was wise enough to attend me and my sister to a summer camp at Arthur C Clarke Institute for Modern Technologies Sri Lanka. It was an amazing time even though we could not understand most of the material taught there. But I was able to grasp the knowledge about rockets, starts, space from the back to back lectures and workshops conducted through out 2 weeks. Even my school does not let me go away from astronomy. I tired up with our astronomy society where I need another post to write what an amazing kid I was back then. But as per my understanding, being an engineer would help me to drive in to any direction I wanted so I study hard.
Now I’m a graduated from my university as an Electrical and Electronics Engineer and I’m confident as an industrial guy by working at MAS three plus years. Mean time I did my Masters at UOM and having all in- hand now I’m thinking who would I be in my next 20 years of life. My answer to that question was that I would love to work on space industry. According to my initial background research on how be a space guy from where I am right now, I have to do a PhD in Aerospace Engineering related subject from US and join to one of the companies like SpaceX or some labs at NASA like JPL. It is possible if I get a chance to study one of the good graduate schools at US. But there is a big wall to climb up to gain the access I need. As I was not graduated with a class, the probability of accepting me for a Master of PhD is very less. But there I got an answer from my supervisor. I can extend my masters in to MPhil so that I can do publications in good conferences and journals. Which I can standout as a potential research student. It is a good plan and If I do it full time, I will be able to do a good job in that. So I decided to keep my current job as far as I can and do things together. Which is very hard. I will resign at a point where I feel I’m going to loose hopes on space due to my current job.
Dr. Sarath Gunapala
If I throw that idea I described in the previous chapter completely, I can be a very stable guy with a nice job and as a married person from next week onward. Where I can work 5 days per week, rest 2 other days and keep this routine until I retired at my 60s. But if so, I wonder what am I going to say to my kids some day. Can I ask them to be like daddy?. Can I ask them to study hard and go get the world. Because I studied hard and yet I cant get the world. My Dahapasala would like me to go there and teach kids. But I wonder what am I going to teach them. I can ask them to study hard and be an engineer and then what?. Be a slave worker or an entrepreneur?. Being am entrepreneur is okay but what should we built in this island. This island only need services and entertainment. If some one wants to stay in business and grow they have to choose either those fields. I’m not saying production cant be done here. Possible. But can I grow a business which does space related researches here in SL.
May be no one can get the definition of success as I mean it. But what I know is, the time has come. The time has come to fight for my dreams aggressively. If not, this time will never come in the future. I have to bring all the the adversity in to my side and fight for what I believe greatness. I will be in the hall of frame of space exploration some day.
She made sure that he will not hear her voice anymore. She hid her sight from him. He was blocked from every media where he could watch her secretly. She made his promise to go stay away from her family. After all She kept her feelings secretly inside herself to where he didn’t have access anymore. But once in a while, she appeared at the top of the mountain. He had to climb up the mountain, it was freezing, dangerous and was misty. He could have get lost and could have ended his life. But the only thing he knew is, that is the only way where there is a hope. Otherwise he will have to grow old and die having nothing, doing nothing.
Coming day seemed to be one of a challenging day of his life. He was thinking to meet her parent. His thoughts were kind of struggling because he knew she would never encourage him to do so. All the time she was scared what would happen if he fails to get the permission. So his careless idiocy move could bring her to him for life or could keep her out of his life for ever. His conscious mind was telling him not to do that but on behalf his poor dreams it was a must. No one was there to stop him until he saw her mom’s kind face at her cubical.
Kasun do u know, every night when i make my self ready for bed , i close my eyes and cuddle you for a while. The warmth the temptation of your firm touch runs trough my skin and let my sole be free. Then i sigh. I looked at your face , i kissed your arm wrapped tightly around me and say how grateful i am to be yours. I wanna convince you that no one would ever love you like i did. No one will never fall for you like i did. I know how much you like to hear that. I will say so. It is the truth. The reality might disturb us. But the love i gave you will be there for ever untouched and un replaced. I will be married to some one , u either but once we did and let it be alive for next thousand years.
She did all those things… Jz to keep him away from her life, She kept him away from her life, only god knows what runs in her mind, She stopped all the links to his life, to keep him away from her life, She made sure he cudnt access to any of her accounts/ profiles… She ddnt know how much she meant to his life, She ddnt know he was an Anandian, she ddnt know he was an Engineer, She ddnt know all those things wud get mixed up with his love upon her, So she blocked him out of her life… @least she thought so…. She tried to stop him following her IRL and In Virtual world….she thought she made sure he won’t follow him anymore… Yet He sees her silhouette of by her windowstill… He sees her shadow once or twice in a fortnight, Whenver he gets a leasure time… He Runs thru that big tunnel and he climbs up that hill, jz to see her shadow along with the calm sounds of river banks… He climbs up there Whether he’s got his buddies with him or not… But still he likes to climb up there all alone… He walks miles, jz to see her shadow…. But It dsnt matter, even if he onlybsees the shadow, cuz he jz wants to know she’s there… He can imagine and picture her cute lil face on that shadow… Yet she keeps him away from her stucked up fucked up life….
Originally Written on 1st of January 2016 by Ishan Herath AKA IP
He was waiting till the man finish the work he asked to do. The work was paused and kept aside for few hours because the machine man got some another job from some one who came after him but a friend. So he was not asked to but tend to sit aside thinking about the time he needs to arrange arose with that delay. By the time he remembered her as usual. Every Time he fall down he want her to back him up. This time again, it may be thousands, he was alone, frightened, messed not knowing how to handle the situation. If she was there, he could have taken a call and complain her. Her voice might melt down his pain. He did not want any kind of solution but her concern. But he didn’t get both. He had not even have lunch or a proper breakfast either.
The Misfit 